MIA

I realized last night that idealisticrealism was kind of MIA this summer while I was at home and volunteering with the DREAM Project in the Dominican Republic. As this period of time was kind of paradigm shifting for me, I think it would be beneficial to write about it, at least for me, and since this blog is written for mostly selfish reasons, I’m going to do it. The following is a reflection paper I wrote after coming home from the DR:

My six weeks in the Dominican Republic didn’t turn out the way I had expected them to. I’m not sure exactly what my expectations were- maybe I thought that I would make a huge, visible difference in the lives of the kids I taught or see that same kind of change in myself as a result of the work I did. Actually, one of the biggest things I learned while in the D.R. is that any change takes time. If I want to see a change in myself or in my world, I have to be patient, dedicated, and consistent in my efforts, regardless of the opposition I will most definitely face. I must also be realistic and willing to work for small changes, which provide the foundation for bigger changes to come to pass. On that note, I feel that through this experience I have been able to find several “golden nuggets”, or universal principles that will further enable me to make foundational (and necessary) changes in my life.

Golden nugget #1: I can’t wait to put myself out on the table until I feel like what I have to offer is perfect. Success often comes to not the talented or completely prepared, but to those who are simply willing and ready to work. One of the first principles I became better acquainted with while teaching was that success often comes to those who just put themselves out there. Because of my less-than-perfect abilities in speaking and comprehending Spanish, I was initially pretty intimidated by the idea of teaching a health class to a bunch of Dominican teenagers. However, the best lessons I taught were those when I just let go of my inhibitions and spoke. They didn’t care that I didn’t say things perfectly. In fact, I often surprised myself at how competent and capable I actually was.

Golden nugget #2: We have to learn to see people as people and to not label anyone according to their superficial characteristics or quirks. The source of this one is a little bit harder to pinpoint. I think I gleaned it mostly from observing the interactions of our group, though. It’s also important for me to not base my self-identification on my talents (or lack thereof), accomplishments, physical appearance, or weaknesses. Really, we’re all just people. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Golden nugget #3: If I ever become famous, I don’t want to be like Yewande [Yewande was a musician who wrote a musical for the kids at camp to perform]. Yeah, she is ridiculously talented, but the people in Cabarete didn’t seem to care a whole lot about that. They just wanted to watch their kids. The entire time she ran her volunteers into the ground, and it sounded like towards the end she was on her high-maintenance high horse demanding a LOT more money than she should have from A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION! Unbelievable. Even though most of that could have been unintentional (i.e. it didn’t really occur to her what she was doing or asking for), I still don’t ever want to be in the position where I am walking all over people because I’m careless or too busy thinking about my thing. It just felt to me like it was more about the music itself than it was about reaching the kids, although it did seem like they enjoyed performing in it. Maybe I’m just a jealous musician. But she definitely rubbed me the wrong way.

Golden nugget #4: There are some things that stay the same across cultures. I talked about this a little in my profile of Nico and how I felt like we had the same kind of influence on people because of our similar personalities. I was also able to find a common thread with the girls in the mujeres jovenes group, who I was initially the most intimidated by, mainly because of the language/culture barriers and my subsequent fear of being unable to be real with them. However, I remember one day in class when my eyes were opened to their nurturing instincts, grace, light, attention to detail, compassion, and poise, all of which are characteristic of women in general. It was a profoundly beautiful thing to be able to relate to them in that way; to recognize that in myself and see it in them at the same time. It gave me hope for their futures, regardless of their mostly rough backgrounds.

Golden nugget #5: Education=Power. I need to be more grateful for the opportunities that lie in front of me relating to my education. I discussed this somewhat in my profile of Yudi, one of my girls from camp. Why are we not in each other’s positions? How come she doesn’t even get the chance to graduate from high school, while I feel like I have messed around for most of my college career? I don’t have the answers to these questions. This kind of takes me back to the beginning, though. I think my problem is that I have been waiting around for the opportunity to make some big change that would affect a lot of people without ever taking the time to build its foundation. I haven’t been willing to put my heart into the small, important, preparatory changes that actually lead up to something like that because they didn’t seem like they were enough. And so, as I have sat on my own high horse, lots of golden opportunities to better myself have passed me by. This is the biggest regret I have from the past 21 years of my life. I guess it’s a good thing that I have one year left of my undergrad to start redeeming myself, right? I am confident that applying all of these principles I have been able to learn from my experience working in the Dominican Republic will help me to do that, and to be a better person in general.